Dreaming of WHO?
by Green-san
Summary: Smoker finally gets some sleep after a hard day, but things in his subconsciousness just won't let him! Dreams can be really strange, can't they? SmoAce!
1. Chapter 1

_Dreaming of… WHO?!_

His head hit the pillow with its usual heaviness, the covers sneaking around his thick body and warming him up. Groaning he tried to sort through his memories of the day, which had been filled with stress, too much caffeine and reading 'Alice in Wonderland' in an attempt to calm some kids which had been in a car accident. Fuck.

And on top of it all the Boss' grandkids had burst in, turning everything upside down and giving him the headache of the century. Pressing his palms to his closed eyelids, he sighted deeply and willed himself into a blessed sleep. Not.

~*~

He was standing on a great field, the tall golden grass swaying in the warm wind. A sound made him turn his head and what he saw made him stare in shock. A young man with black hair wearing a suit ran away from him, with fricking _rabbit ears_. Not believing what he saw, Smoker started to run after him, shouting to try and make him stop.

"Oi! Who, no, what are you-" But before he could finish the question, he found himself falling down into a deep blackness, after the familiar rabbit boy…

~*~

After, what seem as an eternity of falling through a dark, black, endless hole he fell on a hard surface in the middle of a garden.

"Well, hello there, young lady", he looked at the stupidly looking, tall man with a hat, ready to strangle him for calling him a girl, "would you mind to show me your panties?" He asked with an innocent expression. Then he noticed that he was sitting at a table, full of tea pots and there were two more people who laughed their asses of on the situation. Some sort of hare boy (who had an all too familiar look like his Boss' grandkid and… _holy shit, that really was Luffy!) _and the asshole that got him here in the first place! Ok, someone was about to die!

And that was the moment when he noticed that he was wearing a blue dress and blue knot in his hair. Apparently, he was the only one to see the ridiculousness of the whole situation, because the other two had stopped laughing and asked him if he wanted a cup of tea.

Absolutely enraged, he practically shouted "No! I don't want a damn cup of tea! I want to know who the hell you are and where the hell I am?!"

"Such a bad language for a young lady… I guess that means you won't show me your panties. Too bad!" The hat-man said, looking a bit disappointed, "well, I'm Brook the Hatter, this is Luffy the Mad Hare..." he pointed to the boy who was smiling as if he were on drugs, "and this is our guest, Ace the White Rabbit. You can consider yourself invited to be guest at our tea party! Yohohohohoho!" He ended his speech grinning as wide as Luffy.

Smoker was looking dumbfounded at the three of them, but lingered his gaze at the rabbit boy, deciding if he wanted to kill him now or right at this moment. Ace was holding his gaze with a slight grin, as if saying that he knew exactly what was happening. Then his grin grew bigger as he turned to the other two, who were arguing about something in the tea pot.

"It's always a pleasure to see you, my dear friends, but I have to go now or I'll be late!" he said, then turned to Smoker, "I hope we see each other again sometime, _miss… _And, I really like your dress!" he said with a playful smile and was gone in the same moment.

Smoker couldn't believe this! Who did this guy think he was?! The stupid brat was mocking him! _Although he was the one with the rabbit ears! _He ran after him, furious. Only then he noticed…

~*~

How bullets suddenly flew past his face, nearly scratching the skin off the tip of his nose. Bewildered, he turned against where the bullet had come from, only to get a gun thrown at him from before him.

"Catch, missy!" Catching it on instinct, he stared down at the heavy Glock in his hands, only to be brought back to reality by a bullet hitting the concrete. Swearing, he raised the weapon and fired away, being granted by the sound of a body hitting the gray floor. But before he had any time to think about it, he heard a growl from behind.

"Sanji! Who the hell do you think you are, asshole!?" Suddenly someone grabbed him from behind, with a gun at the base of Smoker's skull, ready to blast his brain out.

"That was my mate, fucker, and now you're gonna pay fo-" Feeling the cold metal pressed against his neck, the grey-haired man decided that he wouldn't take this anymore. Suddenly whipping around, he brought his fist up to connect with a jaw. Taken by surprise, the green-haired man staggered back.

"Ahahaha! Seems like you've met Zoro, miss!" The irritating sound of the rabbit's laugh made Smoker whip his head to the left. The nuisance was sitting on top of huge crate, dangling his long legs over the edge and grinning down at the man who still wore the blue dress.

"YOU! What the hell- No, who the _bloody fucking hell_ are you!?" But the threat was only met by more laughter and suddenly someone grabbed his hand and brought it up to lips which kissed his knuckles.

"Miss, a lady really shouldn't take such words in her mouth." Just staring at the blond who stood there with blood dripping from his torso, Smoker felt a nerve twist in his cheek.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Sanji!?"

"Shut it, marimo, I don't need your help with anything!" Letting go of the hand he held in his, the blonde turned against Zoro to fight. Ignoring the two in his confusion, Smoker looked up to see that the boy named Ace nowhere to be seen. Turning against the other two to ask if they knew anything about him, he felt himself blush.

The two had abounded the bickering for a make-out instead. But before he had a chance to open his mouth to ask, more bullets flew.

"Shit, keep moving, miss! You'll never catch him if you just stand there!" Sanji spoke in a breathless voice, as did Zoro.

"And don't let go of that gun." The bullets flying faster and more often now, Smoker tore of after thanking the two. Then, something hit him from behind…

~*~

"Rise and shine, bitch!" He heard a voice growl as he slowly opened his eyes again.

The pain in his had been dull, which meant that he blacked out for quiet some time. As he looked around, he noticed that he was in a dark and pretty empty warehouse. There was absolutely no light except for a light bulb that was placed above his head. The asshole that was talking to him seemed pissed off and the woman next to him didn't look pleased either.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me!" Smoker didn't think that he could take much more. Everything seemed so surreal that it was absurd.

"Listen, _bitch_, we know that you are the only one who knows where he is hiding so don't play damsel in distress and tell us what you know… or it could get real ugly!" The guy didn't seem as if he was joking.

"Listen, _buddy_, I have no idea of who we are talking about, but I've been through some real shitty things in the past few hours, so don't get on my nerves and get out of my face!" He was at his limit and the other guy looked as if he was about to punch him in the face.

"Let me try Mr. 1. Maybe he listens to a woman." The tall wench appeared in front of him. "You know, I really like your dress… So be a good girl and tell me where he hides and I promise we won't hurt you… _Too _badly!"

And in that moment some shoots came form outside the building and the whole warehouse turned into a battlefield. Someone fried his hands from the cords and he was pulled behind a large pile of boxes.

"Do you still have your gun, miss? 'Cause you'll need it later on… Or now, depending on how fast you are." There was this rabbit-asshole, again. Grinning at him as there weren't any shoots all around them.

"I swear to God, when this is over you're going~" But the rabbit ran off behind some cases. Smoker ran after him the whole time until he noticed a small back door only waiting for him. _Oh, thank God, now this whole shit is over! _He pulled at the door, ran out and was greeted with the sight of…

~*~

The beach stretched on for what seemed like miles and miles of sparkling white sand, filled with people basking in the sun and enjoying ice cream along with dips in the blue water. With bullets no longer flying around his head and another absurd situation popping up, the grey-haired man could do nothing but stand there and stare at it.

Then something flew at him from behind and he reacted instinctively, hitting the beach volleyball at its side so it flew away all the way to the water instead.

"Oi! What did you do that for?"

"Yeah!" Turning his head slowly in the direction of the voices which shouted at him, Smoker felt that nerve in his cheek twist once again. But before he had a chance to say anything, the man with rabbit ears spoke again.

"And by the way, miss, on a beach, you wear beach clothes!" As soon as those words had left the freckled man's lips, the bigger man found himself wearing a blue tong. Seriously, a fucking _tong_!

"That's it, you're gonna die!"

"Kya~! What a cute butt!" The high-pitched voice from behind him cut through his ears and he whipped around to find a bunch of girls staring at his ass, practically drooling all over. His eyes bulged out, a vein appeared on his forehead and the tendons stood as wires at his neck. Then muscled arms wrapped themselves around his torso and stomach and a head rested on his shoulders, black, wavy hair tickling his nose.

"Sorry, ladies, he's taken."

"Aw, unfair, Ace! Share!" The girl at the front of the group, with sea green hair and a pointy nose, whined at them as the hare-eared Luffy shouted at them from behind to come and play again.

"Nope!" In a state of shock, Smoker let the younger man drag him backwards, in his head knowing that he knew this kid somehow. The way he irritated the shit out of him, the way his warm arms felt wrapped around him, but now with bare skin against bare skin… Alright, stop there!

"By the way, they all chase me 'cause they want my fire… have you joined the competition, miss?" The whisper in his ear sent shivers down his spine, but somehow he managed to hear the words. Suddenly the arms had released him and as he turned around there was no more beach, but…

~*~

A large stage. In the middle of a large field was an even larger stage with a performer he didn't know. And an ocean of people who lay in the grass or danced to the music and looked very relaxed.

"_Well, as long as they don't shoot me, it's fine! But where am I?"_

"Wow, man, I really like your clothes! They totally represent the freedom of dressing! Awesome!" Some guy in a colorful tunic said as he was passing by.

"Mm… Thanks, I guess. Could you tell me where I am? "

"You're in Woodstock, man!" The guy said as if Smoker had lost his mind. And then he noticed it. This was the Woodstock Festival, which meant that this were hippies on drugs, which meant that it was 1969, which meant that he wasn't even born yet! But there wasn't much that he could do about it and everything was certainly better than a gun fight where he could get killed. So he decided to play along!

He was sitting in the grass for a while and he had to admit that it was very nice, actually. No one was bothering him and everyone was having a good time.

"Hello, miss. You look like you're enjoying yourself. It is quite nice, isn't it?" The rabbit brat was sitting next to him, also in a very colorful tunic. Smoker didn't even bother to ask why he was here, because it seemed as if he was following him anywhere.

"You know, you could explain me why you are doing this shit to me? And who are you, anyway?" He said absolutely calm, not having the power to argue.

"I haven't done anything! You are the one that keeps following me… And you don't seem as if you aren't enjoying it! And as for whom I am, the Hatter said that clearly." Ace leaned against Smoker and laid his head on his shoulder.

"The Hatter said shit! I mean, I have the feeling as if I know you from somewhere, so…" He stopped as he noticed that Ace was going towards the stage. Smoker followed him instinctively and he was dragged through the crowd and on the stage. The band didn't seem to notice him, or Ace, who was stage diving and falling into the crowd. He jumped after him and noticed that he was…

~*~

In fact falling down into a huge bonfire with the flames reaching up to catch him instead of hands. Fear bloomed in his mind and he squinted his eyes shut, waved with his arms and legs to try and avoid the heat. But then, he felt two set of hands grabbed a hold of his upper arms, making him just above the flames. Looking up in shock and confusion, he saw the two men who he had met during the first gunfight.

"Miss, maybe you should wear something less flammable or something _more_ at least, the next time you want to dance in the fire, ne?" The blond man smiled a charming smile down at him, which made the greenhaired one roll his eyes and sigh heavy. Then he nodded at the side of the fire.

"Ya' want us to put you down over there?"

"Ah, sure…" They put him down gently at the grass, but before Sanji had a chance to take his hand and kiss it again, Zoro had caught the blonde's hands in his own. He got a snort as a reply, but didn't let go and Sanji didn't pull back. Then the three of them just stood there, watching the flames dance.

"What is this?" Something with the flames pulled at his memory, he saw figures moving in the flames, twisting in something which looked like embraces and… He didn't continue on that streak, but instead threw an eye at the other two. The light reflected in a visible blue eye, lips parting to answer.

"It's a fire of forbidden desire…" Something dawned inside of Smoker, and he sucked in breath with a gasp.

"W-where is that rabbit-bastard?" But before he had gotten an answer, a sudden blow of wind stole his breath, made the flames reach him and burn his skin. He closed his eyes as fast as he could, and sent a silent prayer that it would soon disappear. Then, as they didn't burn him, he opened his eyes and found himself…

~*~

Lying in a bed. In a white room with many apparatus and he had bandages all over his body. Oh God, he was in a hospital! Then he heard some sort of sound and saw that a nurse appeared next to him.

"Good morning, sir. I'm so glad you woke up at least! How are you feeling?" The blonde nurse looked kind, but there was only one question racing thru his mind.

"I'm good… But, what happened?"

"Sir, you probably don't remember it, but you had a car accident. And a very bad one too." She said worried as she was changing his bandages. "Don't worry, you haven't hurt anybody seriously. In fact, you were the one with the most injuries. But I'm glad that you feel better now. The doctor should be here soon." She said as she got out of the room.

And then the brat came in… In a white coat. Was he the doctor?!

"So, miss, how do you feel?" The rabbit-brat said with a slight grin.

Smoker decided that two could play the same game.

"Well, doctor, first: I'm a man, second: I'm fine, and third: I want to go home, right now." He said as calm and content as he could.

"First: I know that you're a man. I've seen it plenty of times when the nurses changed your bandages. Second: good. And third: that depends on how well you behave, so I would suggest you to be a good boy." He smiled at him, but that smile faded after a few moments. He came close to Smoker and started to talk in a low voice.

"Listen, I know that all this is annoying as hell for you" Smoker felt how warm the brat's body was when it was near his, which caused his heart to beat faster. And it scared him. "But I thought that you needed to loosen up a bit and I thought that this was the right method. Apparently, I was wrong! Anyway, the cops will be here soon to ask you about the accident, so I suggest you to get the hell out of here as long as you can. You can use the window." Ace finished his speech with a somewhat sad look in his eyes and was about to leave. Smoker was already dressed when he remembered something.

"What about you? They will probably accuse you for letting me run away." Smoker asked, surprised that he cared so much for the kid (that he cared _at all_).

"I'll be fine. You know that I always have the upper hand when dealing with things like this." He smiled weakly at him.

Smoker turned to the window, ready to go when he remembered something more important. "Who are you, kid?"

But there was no one in the room. He sighed, disappointed and made himself ready to leave. Looking at the city in front of him, he took a deep breath and jumped…

~*~

He was used now to not landing where he thought he would. So it wasn't that surprising that he landed in a huge cup of coffee, not really. But it was damn hot!

The waves of hot liquid splashed over his head, nearly drowning him, as someone lifted the cup towards their face. Looking up in horror, Smoker saw a huge, grey mustache come in view. From the gigantic mouth beneath it, rumbling laughter spilled out.

He screamed, for once in his life he screamed in fear of being swallowed by his Boss. But the shouts fell for deaf ears, no one heard him and he found himself disappearing into a huge cave, along with this damn coffee, his second favorite drug…

~*~

And then it was dark. It was very dark and he really didn't see anything or anyone. Absolute, bitter, lonely darkness. And then there was that brat.

"I knew that you would bother me even in this shitty black hole" Smoker said, surprised that his voice sounded so relieved.

But Ace didn't say anything. He just got closer and closer. Smoker heart started to speed up and his breathing got shallow. The brat was so damn close, so close that their lips almost touched. Almost…

He opened his eyes and found that he was starring at his boss' grandkid, whose face was a few inches away from his. And he figured that he couldn't breathe.

"Aw, good morning, Smokey!" The always cheerful kid said as he was sitting on Smokers chest.

"Luffy! Get the hell off me, I can't breathe! And what are you doing here anyway?!" Smoker said as pushed the kid not too gently off him.

"Gramps said that it would be really nice if I go to your place and wake you up, so you wouldn't be late for work!"

_Shitty, old, fucker!_ "I don't need you to wake me up… And how the hell did you got in here anyway?" Smoker said, irritated.

"Well, thru the front door, of course!" Luffy said with a big smile on his face.

"Yeah, I got that, but how? You don't have a key and…. Oh, hell, NO!" Smoker came into his living room to see the front door smashed apart. Luffy was strong, even if he didn't look like it.

"Yeah, sorry about that. But the door was in my way!" The kid said apologetically. "Now, get dressed so we can go!"

Smoker went to his closet and was glad to see that there weren't any dresses in it. But, why should there be dresses anyway… He didn't know.

"Soooo, you never told me that you had a boyfriend." Luffy said as he went through the fridge.

"What?! You idiot, where did that come from? I don't have a boyfriend!" he yelled.

"Are you sure? You said something about a 'stupid-idiot-rabbit-brat' when you were asleep."

And then everything came back… The tea party, the bullets, the beach, the hippies… And The Rabbit! Suddenly, Smoker felt very warm and dizzy, and he stopped dead in his tracks. The whole shit he went through was all a dream. Everything! Even the rabbit-brat… And then Smoker felt very disappointed all of a sudden.

"Come on, Smokey, we don't have the whole day!" Luffy was getting impatient, so Smoker shoved him through the hole in his apartment and went down to the street with him.

And there he was! "Hey, Ace, I finally got him out of bed!" Luffy said happily, as he went to his brother's car. Smoker just stood there and stared at Ace who was grinning at him. He couldn't believe it. The rabbit and Ace was the same person! And he hadn't figured it out earlier! Maybe the rabbit-brat wasn't real, but Ace was! Smoker was overwhelmed by his emotions.

"Hey, Smokey, how are y-ughhhhhhh!" He couldn't finish the sentence, because Smoker slammed his face down into the pavement under him.

As Luffy was laughing like a mad man at the scene and Ace glared at him from under his hat as he got into the driver's seat, Smoker was sure that that was a night he would never forget!

**The End… Or something like that!**

A/N 1; GreenSan!

Yatta! Finally I got to do a collab!! I love you Fary for going with my crazy ideas, this was really fun to do!!! (Holy crap that was a lot of exclamation points! XD)

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this strange story and will keep your eyes open for what our two crazy minds will come up with next! ^^

Mata ne~!

A/N 2; Far away yet so near!

Ow, I loved to work with you too, baby! And for the readers… If you think that the story isn't good, it's all GreenSan's fault. But if you think that it's good, then it's our both fault! XD

Uhhhh…. There's gonna be more? I can't wait to read that! *jumps up and down*

Have a nice day! ;-)


	2. Chapter 2

Here's another wacky dream of Smoker's!! XD

...And finally an especially awful day, with an especially nagging boss was over. Finally! Not to mention that Ace seemed to think that punching his head into the pavement was like an 'please-bother-me' invitation . The brat stuck to him like fucking glue the whole day through. Following him like some stupid puppy wherever he went... Even to the toilet!

And it was finally over!

He wanted nothing more than to have a little peace! Come home, eat something, watch some TV and then go to bed. Although, the bed part seemed to intimidate him a bit. What if he dreams again about that stupid shit like last time? Only remembering made him shudder! No, that was not going to happen!

He came home and done everything he wanted. Now he was sitting in front of the TV. He wasn't really watching it, but he had nothing better to do and he wasn't sleepy yet. He wasn't, dammit! He was absolutely awake and…

"You really have a nice apartment. It resembles you a lot. Neat, big, no extra stuff to make it look comfy! Practically screams your name!" the brat was sitting on his TV-which was turned off, somehow-with a slight grin and sarcasm dripping from his voice. And he had rabbit ears! Not again!

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Smoker said, irritated.

"Ohhh, aren't you happy to see me? 'Cause I was dying to see you again. I mean, you're my favorite toy!" He said as he jumped of the TV and made his way to Smoker's bedroom.

"Where are you going?! This isn't your place to just walk from room to room and-" Ace just walked into the bedroom, not even seeming as if he was listening.

Smoker followed him into the bedroom and found himself standing on top of a cliff. He looked around to see that he was in a lagoon on top of a sky high rock and the only thing underneath was a lake and a waterfall. Just great!

"Sooo… Are you ready to jump?" The brat asked casually as he stood next to Smoker only wearing swimming trunks. Smoker was also in nothing but that.

Smoker was absolutely furious "No, I'm not ready to jump! I'll never be ready to jump!" Smoker screamed, not even sure why he was that angry.

"Ohh! Don't be like that! I'll jump with you. We can make it like in 'Titanic'. 'You jump, I jump, remember?', just like that! Only that here no one dies!"

"Are you insane?! We are not jumping together! You don't even know what lays down there! We could get hurt!" Smoker said, not wanting to sound concerned. But he did.

"Well, we'll never know unless we take this risk. Or are you saying that you're rejecting me?" Smoker's stunned face told him everything. "Thought so. Now come on!"

And in the same moment Ace took him by the hand and jumped of the cliff. In that few seconds Smoker didn't feel the slightest bit scared. The feeling was actually quite overwhelming. And then he came near the surface of the water, just before everything became black and he was enveloped in it. As he opened his eyes he…

Found himself staring into his own eyes. Looking around, he saw hundreds of mirrors positioned all around him, reflecting him and the brat who sat on his back. Wait, sat on his back!?

"Get off me! Now!" Wriggling, he tried to throw the other man off, but it only ended with him twisting around so that Ace now instead was sitting on his stomach. A naughty grin started to spread across the younger male's face, a glint in his eyes which sent shivers down Smoker's spine and made him feel real uneasy. And the feelings just intensified as he tried to push the other away again and he instead got pushed down.

"Nah, I think I like this position, Commander~"

"Get. OFF!" Panic welling up inside, he fought against the hands holding him down, but he didn't seem to have any strength, the other could easily hold him down. And when he turned his head he only saw what they were doing from a different angle, the mirrors showing everything and hiding nothing. Fuck, it looked like they… Well, fucked.

He did not blush. It was just that he was starting to get hot; the damn brat was like a heater for God's sake! Wriggling again, he tried to ignore the feeling of the other's naked skin against his, tried to think that it was all just a dream.

"_But if it just a dream, why don't have some fun with it?"_

The thought was not a welcome one, as it made his heart skip a beat and then start to thunder in his ears as it dawned on him that this was his realm. Ace's chuckling escaped his mind; he didn't really hear it when the raven whispered to him.

"Aww, how boring, did you fall asleep, Commander~?"

Then, with a loud crash, all the mirrors cracked up and they found themselves falling down into oblivion, no sound but the twinkle of the glass was heard as Smoker closed his eyes…

The twinkle of the glass sounded more and more like water drops which fell onto the ground, but he refused to open his eyes just yet. He just knew that he wouldn't like what he sees. But there wasn't anything else that he could do.

As he opened his eyes he saw that he was standing in, what seemed to be like, a dark hallway. The only light that shone through was from a metal gate that was a few feet away from him. He was wearing a heavy armor which looked like t belonged to a gladiator. _Of course…_Well, at least he wasn't very surprised anymore.

"It's your turn to enter the arena! Good luck…and try to stay alive!" the guard said with a slight grin on his face.

Smoker didn't know what to expect to be on the other side, other than a huge arena with plenty of sand. He started to get a bit nervous as he walked thru the gate and got outside.

"Release the lion!" someone screamed and the audience started to cheer happily.

He couldn't believe it! He was going to die and it was all just the brat's fault. And where was the kid actually?! Always there when you don't need him, but now gone as if he never existed. He looked around the audience to see if he could find a familiar face, but there were only stranger who couldn't wait to see him get killed by a wild beast! Speaking of…

The lion was the double size of a normal one and looked hungry and furious. But there was something else in his eye that Smoker couldn't quite place. As if he had compassion for Smoker and didn't want to kill him.

"Come on! Let's end this quickly!" Smoker knew that there wasn't much that he could do and he prepared himself for a quick death. He started laughing softly… He always thought that he would die on a police mission, but this was something completely different. Well, at least he was original.

The lion started to get angry and moved faster than fire as he run around Smoker. Smoker attacked him with the sword, but the lion just dodged the attack and even more angry. _As if I had hurt him personally…_

They had a vicious fight. He attacked the lion, the lion attacked him…he almost thought that he would win. But then he fell backwards so that him sword dropped out of his hand.

It was over.

The lion run to him to give him the final blow and again he saw something familiar in those eyes. As if he knew him from somewhere. _But who are you?_

The lion was coming closer and closer and the only thing Smoker could hear was his own heartbeat. He wasn't afraid anymore. He just wanted it to end quickly. And as the lion jumped to him, like in slow motion, the only thing Smoker could think of was…

"Ace…" and he closed his eyes again.

Suddenly, a strong current swept him away; up over the crowd and as he looked down he saw the lion throw itself upon the poor onlookers, clawing them to shreds. He had a strong stomach, but the bloodbath beneath him was just too much for Smoker, so he squeezed his eyes shut again. The blast continued to carry him away, going upwards all the while lulling him to the sides like a mother with her child.

Feeling his body growing more and more relaxed as the screams and sounds from the massacre growing weaker, he slowly opened his eyes and found himself floating in space. As he turned over, he suddenly rolled over about ten times.

When he finally stopped he felt like throwing up, but then suddenly a familiar chuckle chased the nausea away from his mind.

"You know, Commander, it wasn't really nice of you trying to kill me like that~"

"What? I didn't try to kill you!"

"Well then, was what that sword you pointed at me about? A proposal or what?"

"What!?"

"You say that a lot, you know that, right?" Now they were floating face to face, so to say, and Smoker had an urge to grab the kid by the neck and throw him into a bypassing planet. But at the same time, he wanted to grab a hold of the kid and pull him against himself, chest to chest and claim those tempting li-

He slapped himself. Hard. It was bound to become a bright, red mark. The action made Ace start to laugh out loud and roll over some times while doing so.

Suddenly he was nose-to-nose with the grey-haired man, his hot breath tickling his lips.

"Don't hold anything back, Commander; don't go through your life looking back with regret…" Then there was nothing in Smoker's mind but the sensation of soft but strong lips kissing his, a velvet tongue licking his and teeth clashing. His body ran hot and cold and he could swear that there were stars falling all around them, if his mouth hadn't been occupied at the moment.

But as they broke for air, he started to fall down, down as the planets and stars rushed past him on his way down to the cold hard floor. He slammed into it, hearing sounds all around him…

As he stood up he saw that he was in a large room with a very high ceiling and huge glass chandeliers which gave the room a dimly looking light. The smell of perfume and sex invaded his senses as he saw women in tight and skimpy corsets flirt with men in black suits and top hats who practically throw themselves at the girls. Although this place was definitely not prestige, it had a certain aura around it which made it enchanting.

At the same moment all lights went off and the only thing to be seen was a stage with red curtains which parted slowly. The next thing he saw made Smoker take a sharp breath.

There in the middle of the stage now, was Ace, wearing a red strapless corset and a matching red skirt which barely covered his ass, stockings and red high heels. And as if that alone wasn't disturbing enough for Smoker (he really had to fight to keep himself from having a _problem_), it seemed that he was the only one noticing that the brat was a _guy_. Everyone else seemed unaware of that fact. And then the show started…

Ace flirted with the audience as he made graceful moves over the stage, not giving Smoker one single glance. As if he was air… But he couldn't care less as he watched Ace, feeling more and more dizzy and hot. Damn brat really had a talent for movement.

At the very end of the performance Ace turned to watch directly at Smoker and gave him the sexiest look he had ever seen. The brat's look practically screamed 'I want you!' in Smokers direction and Smoker felt his _problem_ growing again. And then the show was over. _Well that was quick…_

The curtains dropped again and the lights went on and Ace was nowhere to be seen. Smoker felt slightly disappointed, because he really needed… Wanted to talk to him.

"Did you like the show?" A playful voice said behind him.

Smoker turned to see Ace smiling brightly at him. He tried to gain enough control of his voice so it didn't sound breathy and cracked.

"Yeah…" _How eloquent, you idiot!_

"If you're asking where we are, we're in the Moulin Rouge. And yes, I am a performer here. And yes, these upper-class jerks are my customers who pay me to do _stuff_ for them. Any other questions?"

Smoker stared dumb-founded at the explanation and then send a death glare at every man in the room. And it was _not _out of jealousy! But he had more important things to discuss…

"We need to talk about what happened earlier… I mean the kiss."

"Sure… What about it?" Ace asked, his voice suddenly growing cold.

"It wasn't right and you know it. You can't just take someone and kiss him!"

"Well I'm sorry, but it always takes two and it didn't look like you objected!" Ace shouted at him. "You really need to stop denying stuff. I know you liked it and to make it easier for you, I give you two choices… First choice is that you walk through the door without me and I promise that I won't bother you again, and the second is…", Ace moved closer and put his hands on Smokers chest as he let his hot breath dance around Smokers ear, "that you walk through the door, but with me, and we'll see what happens after that." He put on a playful smile as his face was only mere inches from Smokers, lips almost touching. "…So, what's it going to be, Commander?"

Everything after that became a blur, as Smoker claimed Ace' lips in a more desperate than passionate kiss, tongues dancing around each other as he held the raven tightly in his arms, not willing to let go just yet. But in some moment the need for air became more important and they let go.

"So you chose the second one, I assume?" Ace said sarcastically as he breathed deeply.

"Shut up! As I remember correctly we have to go now." Smoker said as he turned to leave, not entirely sure what just happened.

"Wait for me outside. I'll just grab my stuff and we can go." The brat said happily as he run to the back of the room.

Smoker made his way to the door, feeling as if he was floating and opened it just to see that he was…

Standing in the middle of nowhere with a giant apple rolling against him, threatening to crush him into applesauce if he didn't move out of the way quick as hell. Doing so, he all but threw himself to the side, rolling on the ground down a small hill. As he stopped the rolling by doing a summersault and pushing himself into a standing position, he felt himself wobbling on the spot, wondering what the hell had just happened.

Then music started to play, the sound making the ground vibrate and sand jump with the beat. He couldn't help but to stomp his feet in tact, all the while trying to orientate himself. Looking around in the still spinning world, the brat was nowhere to be seen, his problem now 'cause of the sudden danger. But the adrenaline still pumped through his veins, his heartbeat speeding up as he heard the first lyrics of the song.

"_Work It; Make It; Do It; Makes Us; Harder; Better; Faster; __Stronger." _He weren't really a fan of techno, but he loved to work out to this song. Whenever it was on the TV, he felt an urge to go up and take some hits at his sandbag…

Then, a rumble were heard over the music, growing stronger and stronger as a round form moved against him in a blur, not even slowed down by the now deep sand. But then, the music too started to grow in volume, the sound drenching the apple. Not that it helped Smoker to get his ears busted as he tried to move out of the way for the oncoming apple.

"Come on Commander! We're getting late!" His head snapping up, he saw Ace running on top of the apple, reaching down with his hand for Smoker to grab a hold of. Panic, fear and some damn lust whirling inside of his head, the grey-haired man found nothing else to do than to grab the hand and let himself get pulled on top of the rolling fruit.

God, he hated apples…

As that thought crossed his mind, the giant apple suddenly stopped rolling, so that Smoker fell off of it and landed on some very hard ground.

After the initial shock, he stood up to see where he was now and noticed that there was nothing more but endless gray ground and black sky. He turned around to inspect the area, like the good cop he was, but what he saw…

"Ohhhhh, you gotta be kidding me! I'm so sick of this shit!"

So, apparently, the Earth was in front of him. In all it's round, colorful beauty. This meant that the gray, ugly ground he was on was the moon! He thought that he shouldn't be surprised by now about this circumstance, but found out that he still was.

_Well, let's see if there is a trap door in this frickin' nightmare!_He thought as he went to observe the place.

After, what felt like a millennium of walking around this deserted place, he was sure that he was the only one there. _Duh! _And he was only left to the company of his own thoughts, which were only revolving around Ace. About his actions, that confused him to no end. It was as if something drew him automatically to the brat and he couldn't stand a chance against it. And the worst part was, that he didn't mind it one bit!

"Hey! Commander!" He looked up, only to see the cause of his head-ache walking towards him with a happy smile on the face. And it didn't make him feel warm and fuzzy inside, _dammit_!

"What do you want brat? Haven't you tortured me enough?" he said, trying to sound pissed off.

"I hope that that is a rhetorical question, 'cause you wouldn't like the answer if it wasn't one," Ace said, not stopping to smile brightly," anyway, I saw you from over there," he pointed to the Earth, "and you looked so lonely! I thought to come visit you!" he finally said and sat down next to Smoker.

Hey were sitting there for a while in a comfortable silence, looking at the Earth, each involved in their own thoughts.

"Come on Commander, let's go home." Ace said finally in a calm voice, not looking at Smoker as he stood up again.

"…Yeah" Smoker stood up and followed Ace…

Followed him up on the Milky Way, stepping on stars and galaxies as if they were pawed ground. He watched the brat's shoulders move, his muscles rippling beneath his soft skin even when he was just simply walking. He ached to touch that skin, to caress his back and make those muscles arch and writhe in passion…

On a simple instinct, a whim, he stretched his right arm against Ace, tried to catch him as he walked against the Earth. But then, a sudden burning feeling on his hand made him snap his eyes open and he found himself lying on the couch in his living room.

The burning came from hitting the glowing bulb above his head, the glass having become so hot that you could melt a marshmallow on its surface. Shaking his head to try and clear the fog, he found his lap full of apples. And the fruit wasn't only on him, but on the floor, the couch and the TV table too. Apparently had he knocked the bowl on the table over with a kick…

On the TV, the music channel had switched on, pumping out music and psychedelic colors, making his sleepy senses even more confused. With a burning right hand and an aching feeling between his legs, he turned of the irritating box and decided to head of to the bed.

Or maybe he should take a shower before that, a really cold shower to cool down a little…

* * *

A/N; GreenSan; *slams head in wall* That was one though fucker! Seriously, it took much more time than I thought, and when I finally got down to it, it was just crack which came out XD  
But, who reads this since it's serious? If you do, then you have a slightly odd sense of seriousness o.O

A/N; Far away yet so near; Oh God! I know what you mean! Total lack of inspiration… and I'm very disappointed of my imagination well! It totally dried off. I felt like a man who couldn't get a hard-on! (I said that I would write this in my A/N so there you go! XD ) Anyway, now it's done! And it didn't turn out quite as bad as I thought… So for all of you, who liked it, review if you want, and for all the others…well, I don't know, think of something! We're done with this part and I'm gonna sleep now!

Have a nice day! ;-)


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